Angel Fallen of the High
by H.P.Witchcraft
Summary: Yui Katsuki lives off the high from when she won the gold in the national competition for her age group at ten years old and met Viktor Nikiforov, 14, for the first time. When she moves on to the junior and senior levels of global competition, the other competitors tear down her self esteem until she is a ball of nerves again. At her lowest point, he appears, but why?
1. The Lastest Redo Notice

**Hi everyone! I'm sorry but I'm going to rewrite this again... It was a half baked idea when I started it the first time, mediocre this time around, and this new version I think is perfect. I won't be changing too much the first and second chapter but it'll be a lot different from there on. If you stick with it again, thanks for reading and if not, I get it. Enjoy the story!**

**~H.P. Witchcraft**


	2. Chapter 1

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**Chapter 1**

My first big competition was nearly a complete nightmare.

At ten years old, I'd made it to the national competition. I was so excited beforehand, so proud of myself and my accomplishments. It was up until the second day, the day of the Free Skate Performances, that I was that way.

After my Short Performance, I was sitting pretty in third place, but my competitors mocked me. They called me horrible names. They told me figure skating wasn't for fat girls. It was detrimental to my view of myself, because at ten years old, I was still very impressionable. That ended up being the start of my image issues, it was the very first time I started to dislike what I saw in the mirror.

On the day of the Free Skates, I couldn't even get out of bed. It felt like I'd taken a beating and was about to start a marathon. It took my mom, my coach, and my rink-mate, Yuuko, to coax me out from under the warm and comforting embrace of the covers.

They dressed me up beautifully, styled my hair to perfection, and when it was time to release me onto the ice, they cheered louder than ever before. I was already extremely nervous, but the vicious stares of my competitors were knocking the will to continue right out of me.

That day was the first time I saw him in person. He was staring at me intently from the stands, but there wasn't a hint of malice or judgement in his eyes. He was beautiful. Even at fourteen years old, he still had this childish, baby-like charm to him, and he radiated a magnificent light. It started with his smile and ended with my heart. He'd lit a fire within me.

I took a deep and shaky breath, whipping my watery eyes and took my starting position in the middle of the rink, facing the judges with a smile.

When the music started, it just didn't sound right. I performed my routine to it, but there was another song, from where I wasn't sure that felt much more right for the occasion. I felt the rhythm of the right song pounding in my chest, but if I wanted to win I needed to let the speakers' music drown out my heart's melody.

My routine was nothing special, just a little something with baby jumps to impress the judges the best I could. I didn't do anything more than a double axel. When I finished, I looked at the boy, his hands had fallen from his face and he stared into my eyes.

After I bowed politely to the judges, I skated to the exit, waiting for my score. At the end of the day, I took first place and it was truly the best I had ever skated. Mom even bought me a whole bouquet of roses, tucking the one she'd shucked the thorns off into my hair.

I spent a while looking for the boy after the competition while Mom and Coach packed up our stuff, but it seemed like he'd just disappeared. It broke my heart. I had just wanted to say thank you.

Yuuko was still with me when we heard the familiar sound of skates scratching on ice. We looked at each other with a familiar twinkle in our eyes. It was a private practice, which probably meant the skater was good and we were going to sneak in and watch. We were back in front of the boards, peaking over the top onto the ice. I had to wrap my arms around the top and pull myself up to see over them, but in the end, I was so glad I did.

It was him on the ice, the boy who'd looked at me so kindly, and he was incredible, much better than me, Yuuko, even our coach.

I couldn't help but clap when he was done, though it meant letting go of the boards and falling back behind there where I could not see. I knew that meant he wouldn't see my clapping either, so I raised my hands over my head, stood on the tips of my toes and stretched them up as high over the boards as I could.

I heard his skates scratching on the ice soon after. I didn't want to miss a single second of his performance though, so I stopped clapping, pulling myself up to see over the boards once again.

When I could finally see over, onto the ice, I saw he was approaching me. His long and light hair flowed behind him as he cocked his head to the side with a smile. My eyes widened and I waved, barely holding on with my one arm.

"Hello! What is your name?" I could tell by his accent that he was Russian.

"Yui," I stuck my hand out for a shake, but I was too weak to hold myself up again, so I slipped, nearly falling again.

"Woah!" he yelled and grabbed me under the arms. He laughed when he continued, "Careful, Kroshka."

_Kroshka? What does that mean?_

He set me down on the top of the boards and put a hand to his chest. With a slight bow of his head, he said, "I am Viktor."

Before I could say anything, an older man with a slowly receding hair line yelled to him impatiently from the other side of the ice, "Vitya"

That was the extent of what came out of his mouth that I understood. The rest of it sounded like a string of rapid and frustrated Russian, but then again, Russian almost always sounds angry.

"That's my coach," he told me, "I'm sorry, but I have to go now."

When he turned away from me, I wasn't ready to say goodbye and I was too entranced by him to speak words. Somehow though, when my mouth refused to move, to tell him to wait a second, my body moved all on its own, without a command. I grabbed his shoulder and turned him around to face me once more.

_This is your chance, Yui, don't mess it up!_

I pulled his face closer to mine and his cheeks went crimson. I pulled the matching rose from my hair and tucked it behind his ear.

"Until next time," I smiled, kissing his cheek, "Arigato, ganbatte."

I grabbed Yuuko's hand, hopping down and walked us to the lobby door.

"Goodbye, Yui." I looked back. He pushed back off the boards, slowly parting from me as he reached up to touch the flower in his hair. He smiled with his eyes closed and waved with his free hand. I turned back in the direction Yuuko and I were heading before he could open his eyes. I didn't need him to knowing I was bright red too.


	3. Chapter 2

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**Chapter 2**

"Oh my gosh, Yui! What was that?!" Yuuko couldn't stop gushing over my exchange with Viktor.

I couldn't even look at her, or anyone really. I didn't need them judging for themselves based solely on my face.

From when I helped carry the bags to the car until we were well into our long drive back to Hasetsu, I had headphones in, my head and hair down, hiding my face. I was listening to music, specifically skating songs I knew I'd heard before, searching for the one that had thumped in my chest. I couldn't find it.

When Yuuko tapped my shoulder, I pulled out a headphone and looked at her. I felt comfortable now, my face wasn't red, just my ears. I could blame it on the heating blasting in the car.

She'd chosen this perfect time to ask her question again, this was the first time she'd asked in front of the adults, and I, like a fool, answered it.

"It was just a thank you," I told her with a laugh, leaning my head against the car window, rolling my eyes.

"It sounded more like you were asking him out I've never seen you act so flirty before!" she teased.

My seat belt suddenly locked, but I still fell forward a bit before his held me firm and secure against the seat as our Coach, Ms. Mei slammed on the brakes.

"I'm sorry," she sounded sympathetic. It was probably more for Mo because when she looked at us the back seat, she took turns locking eyes with each of us, then she started yelling, "What was that about dating?!"

She ended up going on a long rant about how we were much too young to be thinking about dating, marriage, love, etc. In some respects, she acted like an extra, over protective parent to Yuuko and I, we always had a good laugh about it behind her back. Neither of us ever listened to the whole thing, we already understood the general gist of it after the first one. The last time we went to a competition, we'd gotten the same lecture, but it was aimed more toward Yuuko then. This one was definitely for me. Too bad I wasn't interested.

I stealthily slipped my headphone back in my ear, letting my gaze drift to passing traffic and the sky out the window.

In the warm car, it was easy to imagine Viktor's arms holding me, lulling me into a deep sleep for the remainder of our ride, only to be awoken when my ears burned in the cold wind that flowed in from the car trunk. Even though it chilled me, I still loved it too. The cold reminded me of the breezes I would stir up as I skated. On the other hand, it made it much easier to miss the warmth that had bloomed in my chest when I saw Viktor's smile, a precious ray of sunshine.

When we were finally finished out in the cold at our home rink, the Ice Castle, Mom invited Ms. Mei and Yuuko over to our hot spring for a warm meal and a soak.

"After such a long day," she said, "You need to relax and warm up! You'll catch colds and that'll be no good for anyone!"

Yuuko had to ask her parents first, but they happily gave her permission and sent their thanks to Mom.

We pulled up in the driveway about five minutes later and entered our inn's bar. We settled down as a table with a good view of the television and Mom headed back behind the bar, changing the channel to skating as she passed where we stashed the remote.

Mom was quickly in the kitchen, far our of earshot, so Ms. Mei felt very comfortable leaning over the table with raised eyebrows.

"Your face doesn't like no matter how much you wish it would. Spill, Yui, and don't leave out a single detail." Ms. Mei was very serious about this, but there was still traces of the suppressed hearts in her eyes, like she could just imagine 'adorable little Yui' with a boyfriend. _For God's sake woman, I'm ten._

Yuuko smiled devilishly at Ms. Mei, "Don't worry, Coach, I won't let her."

"I'll tell you what you want to know, sheesh!" I threw my hands up in mock surrender anxiously, "Just please stop acing like you're going to beat it out of me."

Ms. Mei nodded. Yuuko cocked her head to the side and jokingly said, "Was that not the plan?"

Ms. Mei shot her a goofy look, then turned her sights on me, "What are you waiting for?!"

"Right," I laughed nervously, "Sorry."

I didn't want to talk about what the other girls had said to me. I didn't want to admit they'd thrown my off my game with their words. I didn't want to sound like a cry-baby who couldn't take some light teasing or an airhead who so easily believed they knew best, so I fudged the truth... just a little bit.

"I was really nervous and self conscious with so many people watching me, and I really wanted to do well so I stressed myself out even more. When I took the ice I felt like everyone was looking down on me, judging me, so I looked for someone in the crowd who didn't make me feel that way. There was a nice looking boy and he was the first person I saw who fit the bill. Just knowing there was one person who didn't look like they wanted to tear me to shreds gave me enough comfort to get through the performance, so I skated for him. He gave me a standing ovation and I just wanted to say thank you because he was the reason I performed better than ever. I made Yuuko help me look for him after the competition, but he had disappeared. We were about to give up and meet up with you and my mom when we heard someone having a private practice and decided to sneak a peak. It was him."

"He was a skating god!" And there went Yuuko gushing over him again, "He was just warming up and it was so smooth! He looked like he was floating around on a cloud! And he was so handsome! Silver hair, blue eyes..." she starred off dreamily.

I rolled my eyes, even though I felt the same about him being very handsome and a great skater. It would have been a great compliment, even if he'd just clapped for me.

I still wasn't sure why I was the one who needed a lecture about falling in love so young, because clearly this time it was Yuuko again. I mean you could see in her face that she had an enormous crush on him and she hadn't even said a word to him.

"He was practicing pieces of a larger routine and when he finished, I couldn't help but clap. He saw us and came over to say hello."

"He was even more handsome up close!" Yuuko squeaked, she practically looked like she was drooling, "And his accent was so cute! Russian, I think."

"He was better than handsome," I told Yuuko smugly, "He was genuinely nice. We talked a bit told us his name, Viktor, and I gave him the rose I'd had in my hair. Then his coach called him away."

"No!" Yuuko argued, "She left out the best part! She kissed his cheek and he was totally into it! He turned bright red."

Ms. Mei seemed deep in thought when she said, "I think I know who you're talking about, the name sounds familiar."

"I'm sure it'll come to you eventually." I smiled. Mom was returning with Katsudon.

I felt myself go starry eyed as she placed one down for each of us and took as seat herself. We thanked her for the mean and dug in, making quiet conversation as we ate, then took a nice long soak in the hot spring. It felt nice since the air outside was so cold.

When I went to sleep that night, I was incredibly proud of myself. I'd take home a gold medal for Intermediate Free Skating. I told myself by next year's nationals, I would make Novice. I thought about the boy, Viktor, who'd helped me and smiled. I would do it for him. I would get better and better until we were competing on the same level, until I could see him again.


	4. Chapter 3

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**Chapter 3**

In the years that followed, my life became a whirlwind of school and skating.

It started with Ms. Mei telling Yuuko and I she thought we should get a new coach. Someone who could teach us the higher level moves better than she could. She said if we really wanted to take our skating somewhere we would need someone who'd competed in global competitions.

The first coach we had after Ms. Mei was Mr. Giovanni, an ex-Italian skater who'd made it to the podium three times in the Worlds, but he never took first. He was very strict as a coach and never let us try any triple jumps. He only let us do doubles and singles, saying we could move on to harder things when we perfected the easier jumps.

After a month, it felt like we'd never get to do anything harder. Even when our jumps were perfect, he had a critique and an excuse for us not to move on to something more difficult. I wanted so badly to at least try a triple axel, lutz, or loop, but we'd been banned from that as well.

When Yuuko and I got to the point where our stir craziness was too much, we went to Ms. Mei for advice. We figured she would know how we could talk to Mr. Giovanni and politely persuade him into changing his mind. It got to the point where she tried to have a talk with him about the practice regiment we were on. He told her they just had different styles of coaching and we were still just trying to adjust. Maybe that had been the issue, but it didn't matter, he quit not long after.

Behind Mr. Giovanni's back, Yuuko and I began to teach ourselves the skills we would need to succeed in our divisions. It started with watching a few internet tutorials and ended with a broken arm and whole bunch of bruises.

It was an accident, a result of my legendary 'learning-a-new-move' clumsiness. I tripped attempting a triple toe loop and something possessed me to put out my arms to catch myself. I came down hard on my left hand and snapped the two bones in my wrist. I was in a cast up to my elbow for six weeks, but I refused to give up.

I showed up to practice after I got my cast, fully expecting Mr. Giovanni to respect my dedication, but he was just angry and sent me home. He told me he didn't need disobedient students wasting his time. I contained all the emotions within me until I was out on the front steps of the Ice Palace. I cried the rest of the way home.

I tried again, day after day, hoping he would let me on the ice, but was turned away time and time again. That was how I learned to deal with failure and rejection. Someone who was supposed to teach and lift me up rejected me over and over until I came to expect failure, until it became a self fulfilling prophecy.

At our first competitions September that season, Yuuko and I both completely bombed, I worse than her because of my lack of practice. I started to lose my love of the sport.

It wasn't long after when Yuuko came running into the locker room with a skating magazine. I saw a flash of silver on the cover and was near immediately beside her, my eyes flashing over the cover contents. It was Viktor, he'd been interviewed for the magazine and called the 'most promising men's singles junior's figure skater.' I read the whole thing cover to cover twice.

When I got to a particularly rough patch, I thought I might need to take a break, but I feared I would take the opportunity to quit. I couldn't risk that. I had a goal to achieve. I would never be able to face myself if I quit when I was only just beginning, but then I was forced to take a break.

I caught the flu in October and spent almost a week in bed. The entire time I was itching to get back on the ice. Before I even went to a lesson I showed up to skate around during a free skating session. I ended up nailing a double axel on the first try and felt myself just burst with excitement. I wanted to do it again.

At my first lesson back, my confidence and excitement about my double jumps was squashed like a bug. Mr. Giovanni had a million comments about how poorly I was doing. I was upset to say the least, but that was only the beginning. Eventually, Mr. Giovanni's comments made their way from constructive criticism to full blown insults. It wasn't long after that Yuuko's parents said enough and decided to get her a new coach, my parents followed suit. Until we got a new coach, Ms. Mei filled in, but she was more a supervisor than a coach. Just there to call the ambulance if we got hurt.

When ever I felt discouraged, I would pull the magazine with Viktor's interview out of the pile in the locker room. I would read through the interview, flip through the pictures, and sometimes talk to his picture like we'd known each other forever. Like we'd never stopped talking after Tokyo.

After a month of searching for our new 'perfect' coach, we came up empty handed, until Ms. Mei brought a friend to the rink with her one day. His name was Hiroshi Sato, but Yuuko and I took to calling him Coach Hiro. He was Ms. Mei's old friend from a short stint she did as a pair skater in her earlier twenties. I clearly remember the day they first came to the rink.

"Ms. Mei!" Yuuko and I were running through the door, bundled up in our winter jackets. It was snowing heavily and they were sitting on the lobby counter sipping steaming coffees.

"Hey girls! Hiro, these are my girls, Yui and Yuuko, I've been coaching them since they were about eight or nine."

"Hi! Nice to meet you, girls!" he stood and shook each of our hands with a warm smile, then his cheeks turned bright red and started apologizing, "Sorry! Force of habit! I've spent so long greeting people that way, I just forgot I was back home!"

We laughed. Coach Hiro was an interesting guy. He was a Japanese men's singles skater, but he wasn't successful enough to make the kind of money he needed to support his parents so he got a second job as a pair skater with Ms. Mei, his partner, for a business that rented out skaters and other performers as entertainment for big events like expensive weddings and up scale parties. They did that together until he retired from singles skating three years later. He went into the army for a brief 3 year stint. He traveled all over after that doing missionary work with the church. He was just coming home now.

He watched our practice that day, sitting on top of the boards watching with Ms. Mei. They even put on skates and showed us some of their old moves when we begged. It was a really fun day. The next day Ms. Mei told us she found us a new coach. We've been with Coach Hiro ever since.

I excelled under Coach Hiro's guidance. I made my way up the ranks from Juvenile all the way to Junior, but by the time I got there Viktor had moved up to the Senior's division. He was everywhere then though. He was probably the most famous male skater ever. Even some people outside the skating world were starting to take notice of him. I promised myself I would make it to the senior division and to the Grand Prix. That I would talk to him again.

I'd been with Coach Hiro for over seven years at that point, but two years earlier, when Yuuko went to college, she dropped competitive skating. Since I was his only other student, Coach Hiroshi packed up and came to college with me, which was hard because he had just married Ms. Mei a few months before. They had a big white American style wedding and Yuuko and I were bridesmaids.

Every summer, Coach Hiro bought us tickets back to Japan for the summer. It was because he wanted to spend time with Ms. Mei and their dog, Raburi, but he felt guilty about leaving me in Detroit and dumping me on his friend and ex-competitor, Coach Celestino, for three months.

In April, after I'd had a bad first season in the senior division I swore to work even harder. Two years later, when I was 22, I made it to the Grand Prix Final after competing in Skate America and the Cup of China. I went back to Detroit to prepare for the competition and to stay caught up with school, but Mr. Hiroshi made a pit stop in Hasetsu before joining me back in Detroit. I was the fourth to qualify and I felt very good about my ability.

When we went to the Grand Prix that year, Viktor was there, but I chickened out of talking to him and watched him from across the room during the banquet. I'm sure I looked like a total creep or maybe just a huge fan. Either way, not so glamorous. I finished with a bronze medal. Mila Babicheva of Russia took first and Sara Crispino of Italy took the number two spot. I was surprised I made it to the podium, but it was a total fluke. Leonie Muller of Austria was expected to take first, but she had the worst skate of her life for her free skate and fell into 6th place.

The next year was supposed to be the best of my life. Yuuko's triplet daughters were turning 6, Ms. Mei had gotten pregnant and I was going to be the godmother, I had a whole new program set and it was glorious. I felt like I could knock Leonie off her throne if I just worked hard. It should have been my greatest season ever.


	5. Chapter 4

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**Chapter 4**

I felt like I was trapped in a never ending scratch spin. I couldn't get myself to stop no matter what I did, but eventually I lost my balance and slid to a stop on the ice. I didn't try to get up. I was much too dizzy. I laid down, closed my eyes, and took a few deep breaths.

When I felt like the rink around me had stopped spinning, I opened my eyes. I sat up, looking around for anyone else who may have been there. To let them know I was fine, they didn't have to worry, but I was all alone.

I laid back down on the ice. I let the cold seep through my clothes, freezing me right down to the bone. I felt so cold, so alone. I really wanted to talk to someone, but there wasn't anyone. I would have even settled for a stranger.

When I sat up this time, I put my gloved hand on the ice beside me and heard the crunch of paper. The magazine from years ago with Viktor's face on the cover, the one I told everything that I wished I could have told him, was sitting beside me.

I picked up the magazine, laying it down in my lap. I ran my hands over Viktor's features that stood out so beautifully on the glossy page. I felt my eyes getting heavier as my whole body violently seized, the shivers that had once been small overtaking me. I tried to stand, to find a way off this endless ice, but there was no where for me to go and the shivers wouldn't allow me to stay on my feet very long.

I gave up. I pulled my knees to my chest, the magazine pressed between them, and wrapped my arms around my knees, attempting to preserve what little warmth I had left.

"Viktor..." I cried, my hot tears freezing to ice on my cheeks as the temperature dropped even further. I knew no one could save me here. I didn't want to have someone else let me down in my time of need. I'd rather let myself down and call someone who could never show.

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and a heavy wool coat wrapping around my shoulders. When I saw his face as he kneeled beside me, I felt warmth blossom in my chest.

"Viktor?" I reached up to touch his cheek, hesitantly though. I feared he would fade away along with his warmth.

"Hello, Yui, it's been a while." He grabbed my hand and brought it to his cheek for me, "I'm glad you remember me."

"Of course I do. You're the reason I am where I am today. You're one of the greatest figure skaters ever!"

"That's sweet." he smiled, reaching under my arms to lift me up on my feet. The shivers had finally stopped, "No one's been that nice to me in a long time."

"That can't be true!" I skated ahead of him as we headed for the boards that appeared in the distance, turning to face him.

He grabbed my hands and spun us so he was moving backwards, nearly towing me along to the gate.

"I was too much of a chicken to talk to you at the banquet after the Grand Prix Final the first time I made it. I spent the whole night keeping my distance. I wish I'd just marched up to you and given you a hug. I wish I'd told you how much our conversation in Tokyo meant to me. I wish you hadn't needed to practice and I hadn't needed to leave for home. I wish we could have sat on top of the boards and talked for hours."

"Me too, but you can still hug me now if you'd like." he let go of my hands throwing open his arms and I ran right into him, squeezing him tightly. He ran his hands over my hair, holding my head tightly to his chest, "Let's go get you warmed up."

I lifted my head, looking up at his eyes, "Yeah."

He put his arm around my shoulder's steering me toward the boards once again when I heard my name.

"Yui!" The voice called from behind me. _Coach Hiro. _It was followed by a friendly little bark. _Raburi._

I turned to face them. To tell Coach Hiro I was just going to warm up. That I'd be back soon, but when I looked behind me for them, it was pitch black. I couldn't see them at all. I tried to skate in their direction, but as I did, a doorway of warm white light suddenly opened up. I was so startled I fell right on my butt. I held up my hand to shield my eyes and just barely made out two little figures entering the doorway, then it disappeared.

I looked behind me for Viktor, but he was gone. The lights around me were clicking off one by one, closer and closer and suddenly I was falling through the dark. At first I thought I was being dragged down to hell, but then my eyes shot open and I saw a dark figure holding my hospital gown covered shoulders down to a hospital bed.

It was a strange dream I'd had, but it wasn't scary, just odd. I didn't think about it much until long time afterward.

I could make out Phichit, mostly by his voice, in the doorway yelling for a doctor, and Ms. Mei was sitting in a cushy chair beside my bed. She reached forward to grab my hand when Coach Celestino, my captor, released my shoulders as I quieted.

"Yui!" Ms. Mei looked in my eyes. She didn't yell, but the nerves and urgency were well conveyed in her voice.

"Hi," My voice was dry and hoarse thanks to recent disuse.

"How are you, honey? Are you okay? Do you want me to get your parents?" she fired off one after the other.

I shook my head, "I'm fine, don't bother them. Could I just have some water?"

"Of course," she stood, pouring me a cup, sitting on the edge of my bed, carefully putting it in my hands. I hadn't noticed until now, but my knuckles were wrapped up tightly and a brace wrapped around my right ankle peaked out from under the blanket. I took a sip it was warm. I didn't like it, but I still drank it, my throat needed it more than I disliked it.

When it was gone I asked for another, I smiled softly, holding back a chuckle, "Could I have a cold glass this time?"

"No!" was the immediate response of the whole room.

"Sorry!" I held my hands up in mock surrender, "So what's going on? Why are we here?"

The three of them looked at each other, Phichit looking the most panicked of anyone. He headed out in the hall to see what was taking the doctor so long.

I watched as Ms. Mei and Coach Celestino had a whole conversation, completely silently, only using hand gestures, mouthed words, and facial expressions.

"Hello!" the doctor seemed much to merry for the drab feel of the room and the obvious tension between Ms. Mei and Coach Celestino, "We're all very glad to see you awake, Ms. Katsuki."

"Why am I here?" I put a hand to my head, feeling a bandage beneath it, "What happened to me?"

"You have a sprained right ankle, abrasions all across your knuckles on both hands, and a shallow laceration on your left temple, which will probably leave a scar. When you came in, you were in a near hypothermic state, but you seem to have recovered from that. We'll run a few tests to make sure. If you are no longer affected by that condition I would recommend one more night in the hospital so we can keep an eye on your head. Just to make sure that cut isn't anything more malicious then it seems."

"How long have I been here?" I wanted to bit my nails. I was nervous. Based on my injuries it had to be a least a few days.

"5 days."

"What's the date?"

"I'm sorry?"

"November 30th."

"Where is Coach Hiro?"

"Ms. Katsuki, do you have any recollection of the accident?"

"No."

"I was afraid that might have been the case." The doctor looked down making a few marks on his chart, "You were involved in a major car accident, a very traumatic event. The rest of the details are up to your family, whether they'd like to tell you or not. I, myself, don't know any other details. I would however recommend that you do not try to force yourself to remember. That can be the most harmful, psychologically."

"Thank you, Doctor." I bowed my head.

"I'm hear if you need me, just grab the nearest nurse and I'll be there as soon as I can." He left, gently closing the door behind him. I heard his footsteps retreating down the hall and I looked at the grim faces around the room.

"Is someone going to explain to me what happened?"


	6. Chapter 5

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**Chapter 5**

When I made it to the Grand Prix Final with Coach Celestino, it was December 4th. Tomorrow would be my first time on the ice since the accident. The details were still fuzzy, but I knew I'd been in a car accident.

As we entered the front door, I could feel the familiar chill that hung in the air. It was unlike the winter weather outside that froze us to the bone, it just lingered there with no breeze to circulate it. I took a deep breath as I headed for the locker room. For the first time in nearly 10 years I was going to skate without Coach Hiro. Ms. Mei couldn't even come because she can't take an airplane right now. She's too far into her pregnancy to risk that kind of stress. And I couldn't ask my parents, they don't have the money for that.

When I made it out to the rink, it was empty aside from Coach Celestino. He leaned against the boards ready to play my music for my rehearsal.

"Let's get started."

I performed well enough, I just had a few minor errors here and there. I'd never be able to compete with the other girls if I didn't get my quad loop and quad toe loop/ triple axel combo down. Having a successful practice was a hard won battle. I worried I'd never do well enough to do Coach Hiro proud.

When we arrived at the hotel that night I crashed. I didn't get up until Coach Celestino woke me up to drag me to the public practice.

At the public practice, I was incredibly nervous and intimidated. Mila and Sara and Leonie were all there. Leonie was the most intimidating. It didn't help that I was working on an injured ankle. It tripped and nearly face planted when I tried a triple axel the first time. By the fifth time I got it right. I felt a bit more confident, but I realized if I was only hitting it 20% of the time I was just going to embarrass myself.

As I took the ice for my short program the next day, I felt all the pressure fall on my shoulders. My knees shook and the cold froze me solid. I missed my starting cue and was shaky on my first few jumps. When it came to my spin combination about a minute in, I lost control. I wasn't dizzy, but my legs burned like fire, then all of a sudden I felt a familiar numb sensation take over.

I couldn't remember a time when I'd felt this way. The numbness was insatiable like the cold in my dream where I spoke to Viktor, but I couldn't feel anything at all. I heard the thump as I collapsed on the ice, the announcement calling for the paramedics and the voices of those hovering over me before the professionals could arrive.

"Yui!" _Coach Celestino._ "Can you hear me?"

I began to shake, my eyelids fluttering like crazy. The images around me were hazy and then a scream rang out.

_Where had the come from? Was that me?_

"Yui!" a different voice this time. It wasn't Coach Celestino. I knew the voice but it was a mystery. I didn't want to hear it anymore. It was haunting and confusing and detrimental to my very fragile psyche.

I threw my hands up over my ears, my knees curling up to my chest. I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and I started to breath heavy. I felt like water was filling my lungs. It was cold at first, but then it was warm, almost comforting. I held my eyes shut and the images that had plagued my dreams were there before me.

I was in a car with a beige interior. Seaweed chip bag wrappers littered the back seat, Raburi laid across the seats, and half drank water bottles filled the cup holders. It was snowing outside. A picture was clipped to the visor, Ms. Mei and Coach Hiro with Yuuko, Raburi, and I on their wedding day. Coach Hiro was leaning over the center console, pressing me protectively against the passenger side seat.

"Yui!" He yelled.

We were falling. The windshield was already cracked, but when we hit the water, it shattered completely. Freezing water rushed in from every crevice and Coach Hiro was limply laid over me.

"Coach! Coach Hiro!" I shook him roughly, "Wake up!"

I was crying now. I was desperate to wake him, to escape, but I couldn't leave him.

He groaned, reaching a hand up to his head.

"Yui..." his voice was shaking, he was shivering from the cold. I'm sure we both were.

"Coach, we have to get out."

I wrestled with my seat belt then moved on to his. When we were both free, I grabbed Raburi's harness and yanked him up into the front seat. Coach Hiro freed his legs from beneath the steering wheel and positioned himself to kick out the windshield. It took a few tries, but when it popped off, I took a breath before the water could flood in and steal what little we had left.

As we swam toward the surface, I couldn't feel my ankle. It was too hurt for me to swim with, so I swam doubly hard with the other pulling Raburi with me. My muscles were burning and my lungs screamed for air. As I broke the surface, I pulled Raburi's head above the water and made sure he was still awake. He was doggy paddling, and I sent him off in the direction of the shore. I treaded water as I desperately searched for Coach Hiro, but I couldn't find him.

"Coach Hiro!" He didn't answer.

I took a breath, peaking down into the dark water. I could see the lights of the car on the bottom as they flickered, shorting out and barely made out his shadow as he sank into the depths. I put my head above the water, taking three more big gulps of air before diving after him.

I could see him laying on the bottom, not far from the car. His eyes were closed and his body convulsed. He opened his mouth and the air he had flowed right out, replaced with water. I grabbed him under the arms, dragging him up with me. I felt my body shaking and going numb, but I was so close. I couldn't give up now. We were almost there.

When I broke the water again, I pulled Coach Hiro's head above the water. I couldn't give him CPR in the water and it was all I could do to keep us afloat, so screamed.

"Help! Somebody help us!"

I could hear police sirens on the bridge and shouting as the officers tried to figure out what to do. If they didn't hurry, I would fall below the water, into the depths once again.

"Please! Someone help me!" I was desperate. I needed someone, anyone.

I heard a splash as an officer jumped into the water after us.

_Good. Someone's coming. I can rest now. We'll be okay._

My eyes closed and I stopped kicking. I handed off Coach Hiro to the officer and I fell sank below the waves.

* * *

I screamed, resisting the soft cuffs around my wrists the held me down to a bed. The door opened and two nurses entered the room along with a doctor. They held me stead as the doctor injected something into my IV drip. I felt crazy. I was screaming, I'd never stopped. I wanted Coach Hiro. I wanted Ms. Mei. I wanted my parents. Raburi. Viktor. I wanted Viktor.

I felt the tears falling down my cheeks and tried to reach out. I couldn't.

My screams were unintelligible nonsense but soon morphed into a word. One single word over and over. A name.

"Viktor!" I couldn't explain why I called for him. I just wanted his warmth and the comfort that his presence brought with them. He didn't need to be close. I just wished we could be in the same room. Maybe if I could even just see a picture.

Something. Anything. Viktor. Please.

I felt the drug taking affect. My strength was leaving me and my voice was wearing out.

"Viktor..." I trailed as I fell once again to the darkness.


	7. Chapter 6

**Hi everyone! Thanks for reading and enjoy the story! Follow. Favorite. Comment. **

**Chapter 6**

Since that day, I was released from the hospital and returned to school. When I was settled back into school life, I found a therapist nearby. Dr. Marchand works with me to help me keep my panic attacks under control. It took awhile, but he even got me to the point where I was okay to go on the ice again.

We take small steps to achieve goals. My first big goal was the get back into a good academic standing. I talked to teachers one at a time for a week. The next week I went for extra help. The week after we worked to get me caught up on my missing assignments and by the end of the fourth week, everything was fixed.

My second goal was to get back on the ice. The first step was to put a set of skates on and walk around for an hour. The second step was the sit inside the rink for an hour at a time in the stands. The third step was the walk on the ice, but without my skates. The fourth step was to put my skates on inside the rink. The fifth step got me on my skates on the ice. The ninth step was when I was allowed to do jumps, but only one type a day. The sixteenth step got me doing spins. It was harder to work through that obstacle, but I persevered. The road was long and hard, but by the end of March I was doing full programs again.

Dr. Marchand wasn't the only one that I leaned on through everything. Phichit and Coach Celestino were there with me as well. Phichit was the most helpful though. He sat with me while I wore my skates and tried not to panic. He made jokes and skated in so many circles he got dizzy and had to sit down while I spent an hour at the rink. He slipped around on the ice with me while I made it through step three and he learned tricks from Dr. Marchand to help me work through the panic when it came to step four. He skated with me when I got to do my jumps and spins and picked me right back up when I fell down. He was the greatest friend I ever could have asked for.

I was afraid of everything being over. I was afraid I would wind up back in Hasetsu without a degree. I was afraid that I would never touch skates again if I retired. It was terrifying and it was my rocket fuel. Fear of the end and of disappointing those who loved me made me so much stronger in the end.

As March was ending and I was back into full programs, I didn't want to use the one Coach Hiro had designed for me. It made me too sad to even think about him, so I reverted back to how I would do things as a kid. I learned Viktor's free skate program and I skated it with everything I had, even in practice. I let my emotions run rampant when I was skating from that point forward. If I wanted to smile, I would. If I needed to cry, I let it out and never stopped going. If I was angry, I jumped higher and higher until I couldn't feel my legs.

"Everyone has their own way of coping, Yui," Dr. Marchand had once said, "From everything you've told me, yours is to skate. When you were a child, practicing was your way of relaxing. The only issue is that you can't run away to practice every time you get anxious. When you finally go home, everyone, especially your family, is going to be all over you because they've missed you so much, but you can't just run away. You have to stay or at least try for a while. Remember, nothing will get better if you don't do just a little bit of what scares you every day."

I didn't heed his advice very well. After Minako picked me up from the train station and brought me home, I only stayed or about an hour. I ran off to the Ice Castle under the pretense of going to visit Yuuko and Nishigori.

When I arrived, Yuuko was behind the counter, humming as she put away some rental skates.

"Excuse me." I yelled to no one in particular.

"Sorry, we're closed. You can come back tomorrow." she called without looking up from her work. Even after three kids, she was just as pretty as ever. The Madonna of Ice Castle Hasetsu. She was incredible. I still don't know why she quit. She could have gone so far with her skating. She had the talent and the drive. I only have drive and the skills that I clawed my way up to.

When she was done with the skates she looked in my direction and her eyes widened.

"Hey, Yuuko. Long time no see, huh?"

"Yui?" she came over to the counter inspecting my face more closely. She smiled when I nodded. "Quit standing there like a stranger and give me a hug! I missed you so much! How have you been?!"

"Fine. I'm glad to be home, I guess." I smiled kind of awkwardly as she ran around the counter and hugged me with all her might.

"You came to skate, right?" She released me and I could see her eyes light up as she asked the question, "Go right ahead! I'll make sure no one disturbs you!"

"Are you sure that's okay?" I raised an eyebrow. She had said they were closed a minute ago.

"Of course it is, are you kidding? Go!" She shoved me off in the direction of the locker room and I laughed as I ran off to get ready.

I turned back, looking at her from the locker room doorway, "Thanks, Yuuko!"

After I was ready I headed out to the ice, Yuuko following close behind after checking all the door and windows were locked.

I warmed up a bit, skating a different speeds, practicing a few jumps and getting myself used to the dizziness of the average scratch spin.

Yuuko leaned on the boards and I smilled, skating over.

"Hey...um." I wasn't sure what to say, I felt almost awkward. It's kind of tough seeing an old friend after so long, no matter how close you were. "There's something I want to show you. I've been practicing this for a while. Will you watch?"

"Of course!" she looked excited. She held her hands out for my glasses and I graciously left them with her.

I took up my starting stance in the middle of the ice and heard the music playing in the back of my mind. The program had four quads, one being a quad flip and another part of a quad triple combo.

I skated with all my heart, letting myself get emotional as I finished my flying sit spin and moved into the step sequence as the music pleaded for the lover to stay close to the singer.

I wasn't pressured. There was nothing riding on this performance. This was just me practicing in the comfort and safety of my home rink. When I took up my ending position I fell to my knees, the tears still streaming. Yuuko was yelling as she ran out onto the ice.

"That was freaking amazing! You're incredible, Yui! That was a perfect copy of Viktor." she was laughing with glee as she sat down beside me on the ice. She pulled my hands away from my eyes and held them comfortingly. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I sniffled a bit, "I just stopped worrying and making myself crazy over being perfect all the time and went back to how we did it as kids. Copying Viktor and having fun. I don't know how, but I just relaxed to the point where I could just be myself on the ice. Where I could laugh if the story made me want to or if I messed up and just needed to laugh at myself. Where I could cry if I was moved that way. I just feel so much better about my skating now."

"That's amazing." she looked like she was going to cry to, so I hugged her and she hugged me back and we both got a little more emotional.

"I felt like I couldn't ever love skating again after Coach Hiro and the Grand Prix Final, but I missed it so much. I wanted to get back on the ice so badly, so I went back to our old ways. Sometimes going back to your roots is the best thing for you."

"You're right." she smiled, standing up and pulling me to my feet too, "Let's get something warm in you. You're freezing!"

"Okay." We walked out into the locker room and three little girls were sitting on a bench.

"Yui, you remember the girls, right? Axel, Lutz and Loop. They're a lot bigger now though."

"Hi girls!" I smiled, sitting across from them, "I don't know if you remember, but I'm Yui Katsuki. Your parents and I were very close when we were young."

The girls started asking a million questions and I laughed, but Yuuko still felt like she had to apologize. Apparently the girls are fans. That's nice to hear.

I felt someone grab me under the arms from behind and I freaked until I heard his voice, "It's good to see you, Shrimp!"

"Nishigori!" I jumped up hugging him tightly, "It's so good to see you too!"

After some hot chocolate and a very comforting talk, I had to say good bye and head home for the night. I was, however, told that I was allowed back to skate whenever I needed to. Another thing I greatly appreciated.

I fell into bed after a soak in the hot springs, curling up under my warm blankets. I was worried at first, but now I'm actually enjoying being home.


	8. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone! Thanks for reading and enjoy the story! Follow. Favorite. Comment. **

**Chapter 7**

I spent the few days training and having time with my family. I didn't realize how much I missed having them there for me until I came back.

I woke up to a text from Nishigori a week later. The triplets had uploaded a video of me doing Viktor's routine to the internet and it had gone viral. I guess anything with Viktor's name in it would go viral. After I saw part of the video, Nishigori called to apologize again.

"Yui, I'm so sorry! I had no idea the girls took a video. I should have checked the camera." I could hear Yuuko screaming in the background.

"Its...its okay. There's nothing to do now. I'm sure it'll blow over soon. I gotta go though, I'll talk to you later." I felt my voice shake. This was too much.

"Wait, Yui-" I clicked the end call button before he could continue.

_Sorry Nishigori, but I need sometime to freak out in private before I try to talk any more about this. _

I laid on my side on my bedroom floor and prayed for a swift death. Or at least for the swift demise of the video.

Minako burst into my room yelling about how I wasn't allowed to go viral without telling her, but I just needed some quiet. If I didn't get a hold of myself soon, I'd wind up having a major panic attack.

"Minako..." I looked up at her and felt bags forming under my eyes, "Can I just have a minute please? I didn't know about this either and I need to try and process this before I have a melt down.

"Sure." she looked worried, she could see how badly this was affecting me. "I'll be in the bar when you're ready to talk."

I looked at the time. 10:17 am. It was only 7am in Thailand, but I could probably reach Phichit. He was probably at the rink already.

I searched through my contacts and called him.

"Yui!" he yelled when he picked up the phone, "How are you? I saw that video-"

"You saw that!" I could feel myself panicking more.

"Change over to a video chat, okay?" he said, "Accept my chat request!"

When the chat opened he was smiling, but it was a sympathetic and worried smile.

"Are you okay?"

"No."

"One to ten."

"Six or seven."

"Is it getting worse?"

"Yes."

"seven-two-six-three-nine."

I repeated after him slowly, stumbling over my words.

"one-eight-four-seven-zero."

I repeated again, my heavy breathing beginning to slow.

"six-eight-one-three-nine."

I was much more sure of myself this time. I took a deep breath when I finished, closing my eyes and focusing on the light at the end of the tunnel. I was okay. Nothing was going to hurt me. No one was going to hurt me. It was just a video.

"Good?" When I looked back at the screen, Phichit was staring at me. He'd walked off the ice into a corner where no one would over hear.

I nodded. I was definitely much better now.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I nodded again. "It's just the video. I just... its kind of embarrassing that the whole world saw that and the part at the end when I was crying is even worse."

"No one's judging you, Yui." he smiled, "From everything I've seen, they think you're amazing. They think a great skater went through a whole lot of bad things in a short amount of time and their happy because from what they can see, you're getting everything back together."

"Thanks, Phichit." I smiled. I was really lucky to have him.

"Anytime, Yui, you know that! Day or night! Whenever you need me. Just not right now because CiaoCiao wants me back on the ice. Sorry." he laughed sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.

"Don't worry. Thank you so much! I'll talk to you soon okay?"

"Talk soon." he nodded, "That's a promise."

The chat ended and I stood. I wrapped a blanket around my shoulders and sat on my bed. I looked at the mural of posters of Viktor scattered across my wall and a new worry started to well up in me.

_Surely he hadn't seen the video, right? There was now way he had. He was much too busy preparing for the next season._

* * *

A week later, Mom woke me up, thrusting a shovel and my winter jacket into my hands.

"I need you to go help your dad with the shoveling before he throws his back out again. He's being stubborn and won't listen to me."

I smiled. This was like old times, before I left for Detroit. But wait, had we really gotten snow last night? Its mid-April?! I looked out the window and what do you know. A cold front had blown in and we had a little blanket of snow covering everything.

I bundled up to avoid the wind and wore my snow boots too. When I opened the front door, a big brown poodle was on the front stoop.

"Raburi?" I thought he was dead. Was this his ghost? My suspicions were proved wrong when the dog tackled me and started licking my face. "Hey!" I giggled pushing the dog off as he barked excitedly.

He looks familiar. I can't remember where I've seen him before though.

"Yui! Good Morning!" Dad yelled, coming in from the cold. Probably taking a break to rest his back before he really hurt himself.

"Hey, dad!" I smiled, "Who's this little fella?"

"I don't know his name, but he's a new guest's dog. He looks just like Raburi, doesn't he?"

"A guest?"

"Yeah a tall foreign guy with an accent and light hair."

"Light hair?" That wasn't uncommon. There were plenty of blond people out there but... I knew someone with light hair, an accent, and a dog exactly like this. I looked at the dog's tags hanging around his neck, gasping when I saw the cyrillic script.

_Viktor._

"Was he about 180 cm and had blue eyes?" I jumped up grabbing dad's shoulders as I questioned him.

"Yeah that sounds like him." Dad shook his head back and forth as he considered.

"Where is the guest right now, dad?"

"The springs, but-"

I was already booking it down the hall. I made it to the door when I stopped. If I took another step. I'd be in the men's hot spring. Well, no time for rational thoughts now. I charged through the indoor portion, pausing for just a moment.

"Viktor?" I called, hands over my eyes. No response. When I made it outside. I tried again. This time there was a response.

"yes?"

I cautiously opened my eyes. I'd just barely skidded to a stop before falling into the pool. He sat on the far side, his arms laid across the pool's edge roughly 3 meters from me. This was probably the worst idea I'd ever had. Whatever, though. No turning back now.

"Viktor..." I trailed. I wasn't sure what to say, so I tried again, "Viktor! Why are you here?" I was yelling. I hadn't meant to but I was so nervous and confused and I was only just now realizing that he was completely naked under that water.

He smiled, standing up and I screamed, screwing my eyes shut and throwing my hands over them for safety. He didn't speak at first, but I heard the drip of water as it fell back in the pool and his approaching footsteps. I backed up until I bumped into the wall and moved to the left until I tripped and fell on a bench.

_Ew... How many naked men have sat on this thing?!_

I was back on my feet almost immediately, but then I felt his hands lock around my wrists, pulling them away from my face.

_What is he doing?!_

He held my hands against the wall, leaning his forehead against mine.

"Open you're eyes." he said, "Please. I promise I'm decent."

I shuddered. His accent and familiar voice over taking my ears like a beautiful symphony. I opened my eyes, but all I saw was his broad chest and toned muscles, his waist barely covered by the small towel the inn provides. I don't know why I expected him to be wearing more clothes. He would have left them outside in a locker.

He released one of my hands, and used his free one to gently hold my chin between his fingers. He tilted it upwards so I was looking right into is eyes and he began to speak again.

"Hello, Yui," I shivered, "starting today, I will be your new coach. You are going to make it to the Grand Prix Final again, and this time, you'll win."

"What?!" I screamed. He took a step back and raised his hands to his ears.

_Oops. Well at least he's off me. _

I raised my hands back up to my face, covering my mouth. I thought I was going to puke.

_Is this a dream? I hope it is. This is too cruel. Is this how God is punishing me for failing to saving Coach Hiro?_

"Why are you here?" I whispered, just barely audibly. I sank down the wall, wrapping my arms around my knees and burying my face in my legs. I rocked back and forth just a bit, enough to smack my head a bit each time.

"Yui, I-"

"Why are you here?" I repeated it over and over again. I became more and more breathless as I went on. I think I'm going to pass out.

He didn't try to say anything else. He just put a hand behind my head so I wouldn't hit it on the wall anymore and sat beside me. He started to hum a hauntingly beautiful tune, and eventually I was calm. The room wasn't closing in. My thoughts weren't cornering me in my own mind, and I felt safe. For the first time in a long time I felt safe with a new person.

"I know you have it in you, Yui. You have nothing to fear. I'm not the only one who believes in you." he stood, offering me a hand. I took it.

I felt unsteady on my feet, but that wasn't a problem for him. He tucked his arm beneath my knees and the other around my back. As he walked us out of the men's hot spring, he pressed my face into his chest so I wouldn't see the naked men all around me. When we were out in the locker room, I looked up at him and he smiled, the same kind, no-judgments smile as the first time I saw him.

He set me down on a bench outside the men's locker room while he went back inside to change.

"No peaking." he teased, wiggling his eyebrows. I almost laughed, but I was too busy blushing a deep crimson. "I'll be back, wait for me."

When he returned in one of the inn's green robes, he grabbed my hand and pulled me out into the bar area.

"How about some food?" he smiled.

I bit my lip. Hesitated for a moment, but then I put on my brave face. I smiled just as kindly as he did and accepted.

"okay."

This was the start of something... crazy.


	9. Chapter 8

**Hi everyone! Thanks for reading and enjoy the chapter! Follow. Favorite. Comment**

**Chapter 8**

Viktor held my hand the entire way, until we sat down at one of the tables in the bar. He was treating me like a child, like he was afraid I'd wander off out of his sight and he wouldn't be able to find me.

He ate and drank until he was full, sleepy, and quite drunk. That stereotype about Russians taking well to alcohol? Viktor proved, at the least, that he doesn't take to it so well. Probably due to his near abstinence from it during the skating season, he never had the time to build up a tolerance. I avoid alcohol like the plague for the most part. When I drink, I get very...open, to put it nicely. Its like my fear melts away and I completely lose control.

When Viktor got tipsy, like he is right now, he gets this little pink blush across the bridge of his nose and it gets deeper and deeper all the way up to the tips of his crimson ears. Its really cute. He also gets sleepy, which is even cuter. He lays down or flops on the people closest to him until he finds a comfortable way to rest. He put his cheek on my shoulder and stayed that way for a bit, but when his body fell limp in the grasp of sleep, his head rolled right off my shoulder and he landed in my lap.

"Hey, Mom?" I called in a stage whisper to her as she wiped a few glasses behind the bar.

"What is it, dear?"

"Can I have a blanket? Viktor fell asleep. I don't want to wake him, he seemed really worn out."

"Sure thing!"

She returned with a blanket a few minutes later and I gently transferred his head from my lap to the fuzzy blanket. His dog, Makkachin, came over and laid his head on Viktor's stomach, yawning as he closed his own tired eyes. Even in his sleep, Viktor loved his dog, putting his hand up into his curly brown hair and stroking him softly.

I moved to the opposite side of the table, giving him some space. I laid my head on my arms and watched Viktor's peaceful face as he slept. I wanted to pinch myself, to make sure this wasn't some dream. If it was a dream, I hoped I would never wake up.

"Yui!" Minako yelled as she burst through the front door. I promptly shushed her, there was no need to wake poor Viktor.

Mom and I walked out into the front hall to talk with her as she kept raving about rumors, specifically those about Viktor. She freaked out when she saw him sleeping on the bar floor and decided that with him sleeping, it was the perfect time to share some news she'd heard.

"He's taking the next season off to 'consider the future of his career.'" This got her very excited, but mostly over the reason he'd given for considering his future in an interview. She pulled up a video of Viktor outside his home rink in Saint Petersburg and hit play. A dozen microphones were being shoved in his directions and heavily accented questions were asked in varying degrees of volume and politeness.

"I don't have much to say." Viktor held his hands up with a shrug. His sunglasses hid his eyes but his mouth was turned up in the tiniest of smiles. "I have decided to take the next season off to consider my future and my options. For now, I'll be visiting a friend whom I've gladly shared the ice with for a few years now. That is all I have to say for now, thank you."

He walked off through the media frenzy and got into a sleek black car, completely ignoring all the questions of the reporters.

I looked from the phone to the man himself. He was still sleeping peacefully despite the commotion, even Makkachin hadn't stirred.

_Did he call me a friend? Or was that a cover story to come here?_

Minako sat with me, talking quietly when a a sudden sneeze surprised me. It was Viktor. He sat straight up, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"He's awake!" Minako stage whispered, gawking at him.

His robe fell off one shoulder as he mumbled, "Is there anymore food around here? I'm so hungry."

"I thought you said he ate?!" Minako hissed at me. I panicked.

_He did eat! Is his stomach a bottomless pit or something?!_

"Sure! We have lots of food! What do you want? Anything special? We could make something specially we might just have to run to the store or-" Viktor cut off my nervous rambling. He leaned over the table and pressed a finger to my lips effectively shushing me.

"How about you bring me your favorite, Yui?" he asked sleepily, "If I'm going to be your partner I want to know all about you." he yawned as he said the last few words.

_Why is he so God damn cute._

I felt an embarrassed blush in my cheeks and I ran off into the kitchen, returning not long after with Mom and a pork cutlet bowl.

"This looks incredible!" Viktor yelled as he leaned his head down to smell it, the steam bringing a pink color to his cheeks.

"This is our specialty," Mom explained, but I stopped listening. I just watched him as he shoveled food into his mouth, mumbling through the food about how good it was. Mom was pleased.

"The rule was that the pair of them could only have them every time they won." Minako raised an eyebrow at me and I felt myself sweat just a bit under her gaze.

"The pair?" Viktor's head cocked to the side.

"Coach Hiro and I." I said, smiling down at my clasped hands on the table in front of me.

"Oh." he looked at me like he'd just figured something out. "Have you had one recently, Yui?"

"Are you kidding?" Minako cut in.

"We've been forcing them in her. She forgets to eat so often that every time she walks through the bar we make her eat something." Mom added.

"Really...Yui," he looked at me disapprovingly.

I chuckled sheepishly. His frown deepened.

"Yui, you can not forget to eat anymore! You'll need all your strength." I winced and set my focus back on my clenched white knuckles. Viktor set one of his hands on top of mine, giving a comforting squeeze, "I have a solution. We'll make a schedule and plan meals and we can make sure you aren't forgetting to eat!"

I didn't answer I just looked at him, dazzled. I knew he was kind, but he was being down right considerate right now. When he said he was going to be my coach, I expected him to get in my face like how Mila complains about Yakov. I thought he'd take after him, maybe he does and the old man has a nice side.

"We'll begin training tomorrow. We'll build up your strength for a while first, then we'll move on to some skating. We'll also get you warmer clothes for inside the rink." Viktor thought aloud.

"Why warmer clothes?" What was he thinking?

"You caught hypothermia in that car crash, did you not? And being on the ice so soon after having that condition compounded with the stress on you is what burned you at the Grand Prix Final, correct? Warmer gear means less distraction by the accident and-"

"Whether or not I think about that isn't your call Viktor." I stood and stormed off down the hall toward my room. Viktor followed, hot on my heels.

"Yes, but you do not need to think about it all the time tha-" I whipped around to face him. He stopped short to avoid walking right into me.

"I'll always think about it, Viktor! It was my fault!" I could feel a panic beginning to rise. I took slow deep breaths.

_Remain calm! Now is not the time to lose your composure!_

I turned back around, finishing the trip to my room. I slammed the door shut between Viktor and I. I sat on the floor facing the door, holding it closed and leaning against my bed for support. I let myself show more of my outward panic, but kept noise and action to a minimum.

"Yui!" Viktor called from outside. Could he hear me? "I can see what's happening, Yui. I know what that was at the Grand Prix. Many people, not just skaters, go through things like this, but most never get this serious. It also doesn't help that the accident weighs so heavily on you. Let me help, Yui. You worry me."

I didn't want to say anything. I wanted to wrap a blanket around myself, call Phichit, and take a nice long rest. I wanted to forget he was here, but I was so caught in the moment that some of my thoughts just flew right out my mouth, "Is that what this is then? Worry? Pity? Is that why you're here, Viktor? Or are you just looking for an excuse to take a break and I was the perfect choice?"

"No!" his voice was firm and I heard a bang as his fist hit the door from the other side. "I am here because I see you, Yui. I see how you can skate. I see your potential, and most of all I see that you and I are not so different as you might believe."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes." there wasn't even a second of hesitation. It was like he answered my question before I finished asking.

I let go of the door, closing my eyes as I laid on my side on the floor. My knees curled to my chest as I breathed deep and slow.

"Yui?" I didn't answer, "I'm coming in." I didn't stop him.

He slid the door open and kneeled in front of me. He picked me up and set me down on my bed. He put a warm blanket over me and closed the door, shutting the light off as well. He took a seat at my bedside, holding my hand. He set down his head beside my hand and closed him eyes. I closed mine as well.

"Good night, Angel."


	10. Chapter 9

**Hi everyone! Thanks for reading and enjoy the story! Follow. Favorite. Comment.**

**Chapter 9**

"Yui! Its time to wake up!" I knew the voice and the accent, but my inner child answered before my brain could process it was Viktor shaking me.

I huffing, rolling over, mumbling, "5 more minutes, Mom, I promise."

My brain caught up immediately after the words were spoken. I sat straight up, my weary eye completely opened as I stared a Viktor. I wanted to apologize, or at lease laugh, blame it on something, maybe alcohol, except I hadn't touched the stuff last night. I was staring directly into his eyes and embarrassment was freezing the parts of me that weren't heated in a blush.

When I finally pulled my eyes away and looked at him as a whole, he had a bit of a blush on his ears as well. He was frozen too and my sudden move to look at him had left us very close.

"Good morning, Yui." He managed when his surprise softened to a smile.

"Mo...Morning...Viktor." I felt myself beginning to stumble over my words. I sat back, giving us both some space and rubbed at my eyes. I could feel the residue of tear trails on my cheeks.

_Was I crying in my sleep?_ I looked down at my hands confused, then back to Viktor. He was still wearing his attire from last night.

He extended his hand out to me and I took it. He pulled me to my feet saying, "I have our schedule for today, get ready and meet me in the bar."

Viktor shuffled out of the room and I saw a grumpy Makkachin sleeping on the floor outside the door.

How long had Viktor been in here? Was he here all night?!

After Viktor disappeared around the corner with Makkachin, Minako came skidding down the hall across the floor. She threw my door shut behind her and flopped on my bed.

"Yui!" she stage whispered, she looked very energetic for this early in the morning. She's not usually a morning person, which was hard to deal with when we were younger and we had to be up early all the time.

"Yes, Minako!" I replied with her same tone, just more obviously sarcastic.

"What happened last night?!" she grabbed my hand, "Was he good? How nice were his abs? We got a sneak peak at dinner, but girl you got the whole package!"

"Excuse me?!" _What the hell is she talking about? I'm starting to think he really was here all night!_

"You and Viktor! He followed you here last night when you got upset and no one has seen or heard from either of you since!"

"Minako! The walls are paper! If what you think happened happened, everyone would have heard it!" I was bright red, not just embarrassed, but angry as well.

"Is this you admitting you're a screamer?" That was the last straw.

"Okay! That's it, get out so I can change!" I shoved her toward the door, throwing it open, kicking her out, and slamming it behind her.

I looked at the time on my phone. It was already 9:30. We should have been up 4 hours ago. We planned to be at the rink by 6! I threw on a pair of compression leggings and a matching shirt with my warmest quarter zip. I threw my skating bag over my shoulder and pulled my head phones out of the side pocket. I plugged them into my phone and jogged out into the bar.

"Yui!" Viktor waved at me like crazy from across the bar. Mom had left a spread of food for us and Viktor patted the spot beside him, facing a tv with a computer hooked up to it.

"Hi." I said sitting next to him.

"Eat something." he ordered, "I have something for us to watch while we eat. We can analyse some footage and see where we need to improve your technique."

"Okay." I nodded. I'd never went back and analysed competition footage. I'd only ever looked at footage on the tiny camera screen at practice. Coach Hiro would record a jump and we'd look at it immediately after. This was interesting. _Is this something Yakov did with Viktor?_

The first video was me in the Internationaux de France trophy. I did great, I only had a slip on the landing of my triple axel in my short program and in my free skate I put one hand down to catch myself after a bad quad lutz. After a quick analysis of avoid making those mistakes again and writing them so we had a list of what exactly to work on later, we moved on to my NHK performance. There wasn't much there either, just a few technical tweaks on my camel spin and quad toe loop double toe loop combo. We skipped my Grand Prix performance, no matter argued that it would be a good way to see what I need to work on under stress, Viktor said no. I thought we were done, but Viktor stopped me from grabbing my bag.

"I have one more." he stood and switched the feed to a new video file.

A haunting laugh filled the room and I froze, shivering under the intense chill that was working its way through me. I looked for the open window letting in all that cold air, but it was nowhere to be found. I heard myself next.

"Coach, check this out!" my hands shook and I felt a lump rising in my throat.

It was me on the screen, but this time the footage was amateur. Me from just a few months ago was skating a very quick lap around the rink, my arms held out in front of me, knees bent, fingertips nearly running along the ice. As I came around the corner before I would pass the camera, I turned so I was skating backwards and threw myself up into the air and when I came down, I managed to stay on my feet. I let myself drift along the ice for a moment. Even I was having a moment of disbelief. It was the first time I'd landed a quad flip.

The image shook as the camera was placed down on top of the boards. Coach Hiro ran out onto the ice and hugged me so tightly. He knew how much it meant to me that I could land that jump even once. I looked at the time stamp in the corner. November 25th. Later that day, I would fall asleep and not wake until after I turned 23. Coach Hiro never woke again and neither did Raburi.

I ran off to the bathroom. I thought I'd be sick. I barely remembered that day. The few days before the accident had been hazy. I knew I'd landed a quad flip in that time, but I never imagined it was that day.

_Was that why we were so excited? Why we didn't pay enough attention in the car? Were we so distracted because I did quad flip that we fell into the water? Was this truly all my fault?_

I clenched a fist against my chest as I kneeled heaving before the toilet.

"Yui," Viktor knocked on the door, "Are you alright?"

I didn't answer. I just shook and heaved and cried.

"Yui!" Viktor threw the door open and kneeled beside me on the floor. He wrapped one arm around my front grasping my far shoulder and wrapped his other around behind me, running his chilled hand across my burning forehead. I felt like my whole body was on fire, but I couldn't stop shivering. The good news was that I'd stopped heaving, though I could still barely speak over the prominent lump in my throat. The bad news was I could barely breath with such a big lump in my throat.

I tried to speak, but it was no use, so I let him pull me close against him and took deep shaky breaths, but it felt like none of the oxygen was reaching me. I felt my vision begin to swim and I cried, loud and ugly.

"Yui..." Viktor held me a little bit tighter, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I choked on the words and they burned in my throat. I couldn't do anything to console myself, so I consoled him.

"Do you need anything?" he wiped my now messy hair out of my eyes and looked intently into them.

"Can I have my phone?" I need Phichit. I need him right now. He knows what to do.

"Sure." he seemed confused, but complied.

By the time he returned, the small panic I was feeling before hand had welled up and become a full blown attack.

"Yui?" Viktor sat in front of me and waved a hand in front of my eyes. I couldn't speak, I could barely process his words.

_My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. _

_Your fault, you useless piece of-_

"Yui!" Viktor shook me out of my own head for just a second, but that was long enough to communicate what I needed.

"Phi...Phich...Phichit." I gasped between attempts. I wasn't sure I was breathing again.

"Call him?"

"Now!" I said as loud as I could, nodding has much as I could, just in case I'd only imagined speaking.

I heard the tone as the call rang through.

"Yui?" _Phichit. _

"H...help." I breathed, barely audibly. I wasn't sure he'd even heard me.

"Is there anyone there with you?"

"I'm here." Viktor said, "What do I do?" I sounded worried.

"She feels safest when her knees are pulled up to her chest and her arms are wrapped around them. Its basically the fetal position, most people, whether they know it or not, feel safest that way. Its basic psychology." I didn't know if he was making it up or not, or maybe that's what Dr. Marchand told him. Who knows?

Viktor immediately got to work, but when I couldn't hold the position myself, he held my hands, wrapping both our arm around my knees, holding me in place.

"Done." he said.

"Can you put a jacket or a blanket or something over her? Its better is she overheats than feels cold at all. The cold always makes it worse."

"Got it."

He wrapped his jacket around me and blew hot breaths on my neck. I nearly shivered, but I wasn't cold and if he thought I was, he would stop. I didn't want him to stop, so I squeezed his hands in mine.

He leaned his forehead against the back of my head and breathed in deep with his nose, blowing out the hot breath on my neck again.

"Is she still hyperventilating?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Put your ear on her back, just between her spine and left shoulder blade and listen. Is her heart beating quickly, fast, very fast, way too fast, or...?"

"Fast."

"Good, she's calming. Keep listening and let me know when it sounds normal." Phichit instructed, then he spoke directly to me, "Can you talk at all, Yui?"

I tried, but just shook my head.

"She shook her head no." Viktor told him.

"Can you accept my video chat request and set me up so I can see her?"

"Yes." he let me go with one hand and when he brought it back, he was propping the phone up so the selfie cam could see my face.

"Yui," Phichit waved, "Its good to hear from you. We miss you! Ciao Ciao especially. Says you were the easiest student he's ever had." he was smiling, trying to get me to laugh, "I mean its probably true, but I still took offense. I think I'm pretty easy to coach, I guess just not as easy as you."

I smiled back. I stumbled a few time as I spoke, but I got them out. That was the important part. If I could communicate, there was no doubt the panic would subside soon. "Its probably because he had to make a program for you. He just had to correct my technique."

He laughed, "You're probably right. Are you feeling a little better at least."

I nodded. It was still hard to speak, I needed to save my strength for when it counted.

"So Yui...Minako told me something interesting last night." _oh no._ "She says there was a little argument between you and a certain Russian 'friend' or yours." He put friend in air quotes and raised an eyebrow, "She also mentioned that no one saw either of you until morning. Time to spill, best friend, how good was Viktor?"

"Nothing happened!" I went bright red. I didn't stumble on my words, I wasn't crying or hyperventilating. He'd taken my mind completely off the thing that made me panic by embarrassing me.

"Are you sure?" he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, "What was it like with all those posters staring at you?"

"Why you-"

"I mean it! You've been in love with the guy forever, he's even taking care of you now. I'm a little jealous, Yui! He's taking my spot!"

"You suck!" I yelled at him and hung up. I text him a thank you later, right now I was too angry.

"What posters was he-" Viktor started to ask but I shot him a glare, "I'm sorry I asked." he shut his mouth after that.

"Let's go." I stood up and held my hand out to him. He took it and I pulled him up.

"Where are-"

"Ice Castle, where else? We have to actually practice some time soon right?"


End file.
